…And what you can do to change it!
Sometimes we don’t even realize when we are doing things that mess with our mindset. Below are some of the ways I see clients ignoring their own boundaries in their relationships with others and themselves.
1.Compare yourself to someone else
This. Is. The. Worst.
When we compare ourselves to someone else we feel bad. They look better than me, they are more successful than I am, they are traveling so much more that I ever will. B.S.
We judge ourselves against someone that is not even real. It’s who we have created them to be in our mind. Spending time on social media is literally bad for the way you think about yourself! All you are seeing is someone’s highlight reel. That perfect person on instagram is not going to show you the ugly crying, the struggle, the days they can’t get out of bed.
Get off of instagram or limit your intake because that post scrolling slump is not worth it.
Ignore your accomplishments
Ugh. Whenever we downplay our accomplishments, our skillsets, our very value as a person, I feel like a gorgeous fish in the ocean dies. (That may be dramatic, but this one makes me so sad.)
When you forget or ignore everything that has brought you to this point it’s like you are telling the universe you are not ready for further greatness because you just ignored so many amazing things you have done that the universe has already thrown at you.
Sit down real quick and make a greatest hits list, every award, milestone, compliment, person helped. It all gets to go on the list.
Dwell on the past
This one is so easy to get sucked into. Whether is trauma, nostalgia, or just focusing on how that conversation from 5 years ago would have gone better if you had only said [fill in the blank]. It’s a trap!
You cannot change the past. It is going to stay the way it is no matter how much you think about it. The thing is, you can only change your relationship to the past and the insights yoou choose to take from it.
Bend over backwards for everyone around you.
Fastest way to unhappiness is trying to make everyone around you happy. Does that sound cliché? Well it might because this is one of things people do the least. Some of us were programmed from childhood to focus on the feelings of everyone else rather than our own. That is at least 18 years of the most formative time in our life in which people punished us if we expressed our needs.
It’s no joke. But it does hit a point where it is a choice. You can do the work to heal where it hurts, but then you need to put into action those changes. The world will survive if you put yourself first. It’s going to suck and yet offers the most reward if you try it.
Whichever one resonated with you the most is probably going to be a good bet to get started with. The first step is always just to notice it. Then its just the next smallest step that can get you closer to the life you want to have.
P.S. Follow me on Social Media @alyssa_michelle_stl to get more tips on overcoming stress and overwhelm.
P.P.S Want to work together and dive deep into finally overcoming stress? Click here to sign up for a quick clarity call to see if we are a good fit!